Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
很真实，一个人如果社畜到塞尔达传说都没时间玩那他确实完球了
也算是个纽约故事吧，比起《头脑特工队》要陈旧空洞得多。
结局正为娟和麦分手掉眼泪，以为四年的感情分手后肯定会后悔 复合，但直到结尾，也没有任何复合的迹象。结局 山音麦看见全景地图里 五年前自己和娟并肩走的样子，没有哭 只是惊喜的大笑，他大概率已经释然了。电影结束了，只剩下我一个人 一脸呆滞，三次提起结婚，最后还是各奔东西，可能只是因为不再合拍了吧。爱情不能只靠合拍维持，现在想想“我想和你一起浪费时间”果然是顶级的浪漫
除了餐厅里越轴拍了一个男主特写，剩下啥也不是
好的感情是一起成长一起探索一起共享当中的过程，处在同频道里彼此能感受和理解，不仅仅是喜欢同样的书听同样的歌而对这个世界有完全不同的理解。★★★☆
这大概就是大部分正常人的爱情吧，如花束般
小麦的工作由于疫情行业不景气，开始裁员，小麦虽没被裁但也觉得公司已经没什么前途。
被治愈的同时被再次致郁，看完电影才知道这些年我过得有多么难过。成为普通人太难了，更难过的是两个人里面总有一个人要长大。聊再多的押井守，蘑菇帝国，羊文学都没有用，因为最后所有的话题都会变成所有人共同关心的普通人生活的话题，然后所有人都变成普通人，都要去泡澡。
一边取悦，一边虐，这段《花束般的恋爱》真是俗套又狗血。都Airpods时代了，也确实该跟「线性思维」挥手说Byebye了。显然，这是一条耳机线的两头打结后再度分叉的过程。坂元裕二借此来注解一段注定要以「结束」来「开始」的男女关系。我们看到，编剧将这段「缘分」缠得结结实实，宛如美丽的花，以至于观众都不希望他们分叉。遗憾的是，我们无法从他们「在一起」的四年里找到爱情保鲜法，当然，也看不到两性关系的复杂。二者的兴趣爱好虽百分之九十都重合，但细微的差别也足以革了这场「自恋」的命。要知道，并非是「志不同，道不合」导致了「L和R」的分手，而是「兵分两路」才有《四重奏》的feel。这场《花束般的恋爱》再次体现出了坂元裕二对于婚姻制的悲观态度，而他这部某种意义上「集大成」之作也就是《我要我们在一起》的水平。
虽然开头两个人的相识相处怎么看怎么像好基友搅基但偷偷互拍和表白桥段还是被甜到了，工作对人的异化这个点爱了，但是后半段就越拍越平越拍越平...以及，分手后相安无事同居三个月真的有可能吗！这不就更证明了两个人一开始就该发展纯洁的好基友关系吗...
人们总是迷信那个「真实」的自我，并与「社会的毒打」对立起来。所以才有对所谓「真爱」的痴迷追求。但其实每个人都是在变的，追求的只是和这个世界尽可能和平相处的方式。不管是换个方式继续相处下去也好，分手也好，也都没有什么值得惋惜的。（另：日本人的情感表达实在太微妙了，每看一部日系电影都会发此感慨，这部也一样）
当书签的电影票，跟你翻版的书架，自助信号灯下的吻，慢慢都会变成停在卓拉领地的塞尔达和看不进去的漫画。《花束般的恋爱》太典型了，因为太清楚我们相爱的模样了，所以不能骗自己继续做一对平凡的夫妇，时隔六年能留下第二个奇迹也挺不错。
这种“合拍”其实有一种虚假性，每一对情侣在最初或许会因为相似性而走到一起，但是在此之后的交往过程中，情侣会寻找这种相似性，放大相似性，排斥相异性。这在影片后来，小娟问小麦有没有做过摩天轮可知，无论多么投合的情侣也会有不一样的地方。影片的现实基调其实很真实，只是在影片前半部分的浪漫被放大了。问题还在于，同一个年龄又没有经济压力的青年，相似性会很多。喜欢相同的电影，相同的书，相同的作者，相同的游戏等等。但是这种相异性在一开始其实就有展示，那就是小娟看小麦所拍电影时睡着了。还有就是理想主义遇见理想主义会很容易结合，而任何东西与现实相撞，都会被撞碎。爱情，理想，莫不如是。电影也用了许多镜像来呈现和回环复沓。开始，也是结束的开始。木心说：“既然两个人好得像一个人，那就一个人好了。”
文艺青年能想到的最浪漫的爱情，在初识的雨夜奔跑，文艺爱好百分百合拍，告白后在红灯前拥吻，在出租房连续做爱一周，在有大阳台的房子同居，在新年参拜捡到一只猫，然后因为长时间的消耗和平分手，在旧地缅怀过去，还会在下雨时候想起你，像极了渴望爱又不相信爱的人们的幻想。
东亚系的爱在系列……这好聚好散秉承了虎鱼传统啊，理查德·林克莱特肯定拉不下脸来拍三部曲拍到散伙。但分手也是恋爱的美丽回忆啊。（220224 影院国语版 这个押井守居然说普通话！然后到字幕滚完，散场的时候，有位观众发表评论：好可惜哦，这么两个人，最后都没结婚，也就没什么人能结婚了。
觉得这像个“你喜欢旅游啊” “我也喜欢旅游”的升级版而已…… 所以实在品不出他们需要恋爱的原因，而且电影里这种对得上爱好的共鸣也实在不觉得就可以是所谓Soulmate，没有任何心动的感觉。可能真的和坂元裕二八字不合。这电影唯一觉得心脏跳动的还是小田切让哈哈哈哈……
这部电影的台词看第一遍感觉不过是些鸡汤，重新观看才发觉还蛮有哲学意味。“迷失和忘我的区别没有那么大，忘我是快乐的，但当这种快乐成了一种执念，脱离了生活，人就成了迷失的灵魂。”人的身体里只能存在一个灵魂吧，这样你才可以完全属于你自己。其实无论是美术还是制作都属上乘之作，很值得观看的，不是单纯的鸡汤片。（之前看了友邻的分享才知道，这部电影有国人参与，怪不得有很多惊喜的地方hhh
此刻我无比需要滨口龙介。是生活打败了你还是你自己打败了自己？看过希望的另一面也没有给出希望。跟随摄影机依然无法悉知爱的全貌，只有双方各自的自言自语，那里的情感没有相通，想不起一个共有的时刻，找不到曾经相爱的证据。于是你爱的并不是那个“契合”的人，而是想象中的另一个自己。那个3小时21分钟的煤气炉纪录片哪里可以看到哇，一定比霍比特人好看！
这大概就是大部分正常人的爱情吧，如花束般
-她对我说 她喜欢我的画（这句话在内心重复了好几遍）
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