Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
好可爱好有趣～中国人会功夫这事解释不清了kkkk
哇，opening weekend全球票房2亿+美刀😍比上一部好看太多，没想到预热那么凶猛居然还捂了那么多大招，惊喜连连。片头曲太好听了🤣🤣🤣杨紫琼配音的角色goat！哈哈哈哈哈哈哈～本片动作戏满分，就是不知道会不会闪瞎小朋友们的眼🤣（不知道为什么会有人第一时间写影评剧透……）
真的很好啊，笑点满满，现在的动画片越来越多中国元素了。整场坐满了人，大家跟着欢呼氛围真的太棒啦。隔座马来人还跟着minions讲马来话哈哈哈哈
笑死了！小鸡minions多可爱啊！小胖子minion追车笑死了. 浓浓的中国元素，旧金山元素，太真实啦，走路走到累哈哈哈 12生肖打架哈哈哈 GEM的片头曲太有印度风哈哈哈
不要太注意细节就可以是一部够格的爽片 真是前传 配音是Steve Carell 很多中国元素 三藩市旅游种草 UGC Montparnasse
经典IP中，能看到越来越多的中国风元素加入，好事呀
挖掘点别的元素也挺好的，即使是我们现在也不兴这个了
轻松欢快的作品影院里小孩子居多笑得很开心。开篇邓紫棋中文歌太震惊了，片子里又是更多更密集的中国元素，很到位。中国城，针灸、功夫，气，十二生肖，动作设计打斗场面感觉比尚气更顺畅好看。也是不错的续作，Minions真的太太可爱了，联动妈的宇宙很精彩。看到有说龙作为反派不过审的太可笑了，生肖是被偷的，坏人用了龙的能力而已，按这标准圣主都是禁片了。当然国内的电影环境不过审也不稀奇。
我要打十颗星，不，一百颗星!就是咔咔一顿简单直接超快乐!
萌死 和泛滥的装逼片放在一起对比才发现治愈系作品是不可缺的
一眨眼小黄人也拍了十几年了。去电影院看着小黄人彻底放空自己笑两个小时，似乎慢慢成了一种习惯。
还是更喜欢《格鲁的崛起》这个名字！实在是太可爱了！！！一整个笑出腹肌！片头中文bang bang和十二生肖元素以及功夫气功针灸等中国元素算是中文文化输出成功嘛？
小黄人萌翻了，恶搞又好笑，谁会拒绝一大堆萌翻眼，小格鲁恶棍单飞养成记，里面中国元素挺足，十二生肖大战。
可能比较期待吧，有点拼凑老套了，中国风融入不少，那个石头等很多元素太像《瞬息全宇宙》和《青春变形计》，甚至《功夫熊猫》的影子，小黄人还是萌萌哒…
早都忘了正片几部讲的啥…反正这部还行｜bob太可爱了呜呜 我以前肯定也这么说过｜中国元素能不能超出功夫的范围｜Kevin还是Stuart变成鸡的时候还下了个蛋变成了小小minion 给我可爱死了
Kevin Stuart Bob Otto
有没有人觉得里面换来的石头很像《妈的多重宇宙》里的石头？杨紫琼也正好参与了配音诶。这种类型的电影，可爱加治愈就完事儿！观影体验很轻松 ，可惜坐在后排的几个中国女生全程都在讲话，还开闪光灯摄屏，素质大概被狗吃了。
小黄人太萌了，私以为这才是小黄人最好的一部
陪小孩去看，热热闹闹的，始终不是粉，很大点笑不出来，但看到旁边的人都在笑可能真的是挺好笑的，一贯minion的无厘头风格，本来想给三星的，小孩说喜欢加一星。
一如既往的低幼卖萌，现场的小朋友笑的很欢乐
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